Candle-lighting Ceremony for Fallen Children

The Redlands Chapter of the Compassionate Friends held its 18th Annual Worldwide Candle-lighting Ceremony Sunday, Dec. 14 at the First Congregational Church in Redlands. The candle-lighting ceremony started at 6:30 p.m. but it wasn’t until the clock struck 7 p.m. that all of the candles were lit. More than 125 community members attended. For one hour that night, every single candle remained burning to honor and to always remember those children who have died from any circumstances. All of those who have been connected to a child that died -parent, grandparent, sibling, uncle, aunt, or simply just a friend - were welcome and encouraged to attend. The program also included musical guests such as vocalist Amber Salmon and master of ceremonies Thurston Smith. According to Chapter Leader Crystal Czarniak, Salmon sang three songs: “Dancing in the Sky” by Dani and Lizzy, “Without You” by Rent, and “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri. She chose these three out of a list of specific songs in order to express a heartfelt, yet positive mood for all attendees. Czarniak shared that the event’s purpose was not to evoke somber emotion, but to serve more as a memorial for the families and loved ones left behind. Although tears are still shed, “we want to be moving away from the death stories and move to the love stories,” Czarniak shared. Marilyn Heavilin is the founder of this Redlands Chapter of The Compassionate Friends group. Three of her five children have passed away; two of them as infants, and another when he was only 17. Czarniak sees Heavilin as a hero. Czarniak, a 15-year cancer survivor, said, “Attending a support group increases your chances of living by eight percent.” After losing her son at the age of 28, the Compassionate Friends was the support group to help her through this extremely hard time. For 17 years, the Redlands Chapter has opened its doors for anyone who needs help and support through a tragic loss of a loved one. “If you need support, we’re there...we all understand and we support each other. It’s an amazing thing,” Czarniak said. “Anyone is welcome, white collar, blue collar, no collar. We are here to help improve the quality of lives.” This candle-lighting event is world-wide and starts in New Zealand. All around the world, candles are lit at 7 p.m. on on the same day every year. For a whole hour, the candles burning represent and celebrate the lives of the loved ones who have passed away.